Back to School 2022

The new school year was stepped into this year with some reluctance, excitement, and hope, plus a fair helping of anxiety. I have learned to try to get things sorted prior to the start of the year, but also to entrust it all to God's care.

Johanna and I bought her school supplies the first week of August and they were all piled ready to go, with the reusable items from years past. The smell of crayons filtered into the scent of lead shavings as I pre-sharpened her pencils and despite having the supplies all together I know it wouldn't be enough to gently transition Johanna into 4th grade. Johanna does not transition gently. So I braced myself for the intensity. Johanna has had a good but intense first week. She is in the 4th grade at St. Mark, and she got the teacher she had been hoping for: Ms. Middleton. Johanna reread the note Ms. Middleton sent out over and over again, and Johanna was full throttle as we did the "Classroom Visit" day. Johanna sought out familiar faces and greeted all of her classmates by name. 

Monday morning came early and it was still dark out when I first said "Good Morning". We are getting back into the swing of the routine, with a few bumps, a few tears, more hugs and erratic appetites. But we are looking forward to the new year and all of the opportunities to learn and grow.

Bridget is at Catonsville High School in the 10th grade. She is looking forward to a stable, more predictable year, and more art classes. I took her shopping for clothes a few weeks ahead of time and we picked up a curling iron. We also scheduled a haircut, which turned out fantastic and Bridget says it feels great too. She was asked to manage the JV volleyball team, which started up before school. She has a few friends on the team, and when the coach found out she was Megan's sister, they were excited to have Bridget. Bridget laughed and said isn't nepotism great. The team provided a good transition to schedules and interacting with friends. I still have to contact all of her teachers to make sure they have her IEP info, and hopefully start on a good foot. Jim drops her off in the mornings and she rides the school bus home in the afternoons.

Megan and I sat down in July and went through all of the college to-dos. She scheduled her advising meeting and we were not at all impressed with the process. Finally she got one scheduled (virtual), but the advisor didn't show. It was stressful.  I sat down with her and we went through Nursing program pre-requisites. We weren't very adept at the system but we nailed down a solid schedule that included condensed versions of the two of the nursing program pre-reqs. That schedule would allow her to apply to the nursing program in Jan and complete the nursing program in 2 years. She and I discussed it and because she took most of these classes during senior year she felt like she was ready and could handle it. the schedule also gave her off on Friday. She was asked by her high school AP Bio teacher to nanny for her 6 month old, Hazel. The schedule would mean that she could nanny on Fridays.

Then 6 days before the semester started she got a call and an email saying that the condensed classes were canceled due to low enrollment. The well-made plans were junked and she was stressed and demoralized after some discouraging email back and forths with CCBC. She and I sat down and reworked her schedule getting into the few classes that were still open. When it all settled the schedule turned out doable and opened up her Mondays. She is now nannying for Hazel on Mondays and Fridays. The new schedule does mean that the ambitious 2 year RN goal is probably not possible anymore, but we put it in God's hands.

Megan Graduates from High School

 Class of 2022!

Graduation was scheduled for 7:00 PM on Saturday, June 11, both late in the day and late in the year. After much discussion we decided to throw Megan's graduation party the same day at noon. I pulled out the planning info and pictures from her sisters parties and got planning going. We would be doing the taco bar like we had done for her sisters so I pulled out the recipes and made the cooking schedule. I cook the food myself and it's a good bit of work. Rain was forecasted so we had to be flexible. In the end we decided to have food inside and put tables outside under our tent and a sail cloth I bought for the party.

The family all pitched in to get things decorated, food prepped and heated up. Rachael came over early to help and was a great addition. She was going to have to leave early from the party for work. Emma on the other hand wouldn't arrive until after the party; she would join us for the ceremony that night.

I prepared a picture slide show that ran in the living room. I also made a music play list but I couldn't find my phone to get it to play. Throughout the party I borrowed Megan or Jim's phone to take pictures. Megan had bought a new white dress for graduation but it got snagged and holes in it by a cat right before the party. Bridget stepped in to help and offered her Easter dress, which turned out great. Everything went great, people came and went, ate and visited. Megan had some of her babysitting families visit, she played cards with friends, and greeted and grinned at family and friends all day.

We got a little bit of down time before the ceremony, where we did some clean up, eat and relax. I got a few pictures of her in her cap and gown before we had to leave for the ceremony at Towson's SECU arena. Megan got a ride with Savannah since they had to show up a little early and then Jim, Bridget, Johanna and I went up  later. Emma joined us there.

The graduation ceremony moved fast, the student speakers were solid and then all of a sudden it was done. She was done. She was finished with the required schooling. 

Graduates, family and friends surged outside and the pull to reconnect began. We caught sight of her amid the thousands of people, way across the courtyard, perched on a wall. She looked so solitary and closed off. I sensed that it was all a bit overwhelming. I couldn't get to her fast enough. We took just a few pictures as families moved around us, but there was an unknown feeling lingering. It was already getting dark and plans for afterward were not yet established. Megan joined a few friends for pictures and then we were ushered out of Towson's arena. Her mood seemed to lighten. Megan, Bridget and Emma all loved the idea of going to a local boba tea place, so that is what we did. We played cards together, drank our tea and enjoyed each other before heading back to the parking garage. We dropped Emma off at her car and then made the way back home. We were all pretty exhausted after a long day.

I am so proud of Megan and I look forward to her next path. This path really can be any that she puts the effort into. Next up is Senior week at Chincoteague, VA. She and Savannah rented a house together for 5 nights. I hope it is a fun fresh start for the next stage in life.

Congratulations Megan! I love you!

Senior Year- Megan

We enroll our children in the education system, and continue through the primary, middle and high school stages. It is expected and ordinary, and yet each child's experience, highlights and struggles are unique. Megan's path included dyslexia, mean girls, and a pandemic. It also included good friends, library carts and great teachers interactions, creative pursuits, photography and a 5 on the AP Psych exam. Some of it was just slogging through and Megan found her way.

I worried for Megan sometimes during her school years. Worried that she and those around her didn't see her intelligence and would discount her. I know it happened and I know it impacted how Megan saw herself as a student. In the thick of the pandemic, the majority of her friends were in college hunt mode, with applications and essays and to-do lists. Megan struggled to approach the idea and the pressure and competitiveness of it all was a turnoff. For years she has been drawn to the idea of being a midwife and saw herself capable of achieving that goal but the steps in between were foggy. 

She and I visited a few colleges, talked of nursing programs, and looked ahead. She decided not to apply to any of the colleges and instead attend the community college focusing on the nursing program there and then transfer to a 4 year program. It took a little bit of time for her to feel proud of that decision, some friends were snobby about college, but I know that Jim and I are proud of her. When we toured CCBC she didn't think she was Honor college material and I had to remind her of her GPA. She doesn't realize how well she has done.

We spent a fun day taking senior portraits and we were pleased with the images we got, just in time to order graduation announcements and pick one for our wall.

Megan was voted Best Dressed in the senior superlatives, and this was really fitting. There was so much of high school and especially the pandemic that she couldn't control, but she could control her clothing. When most of her classmates wore leggings, t-shirts and headbands, Megan picked out an outfit from her hand-me-downs and thrift store finds. 

The end of the year came in careening fast with lots of activities being allowed with modifications at the last moments. 

Megan was the Treasurer for her SWE, Society of Women Engineers Club, and was one of the team captains. They built a cool Rube Goldberg machine with the goal of opening a book. Her team picked the theme of the movie UP and called themselves the Wilderness Explorers. The team made Top 20, and won the People's choice award. 

Megan was thrilled to get to go to her Senior Prom. We went thrift shopping and she found a simple lavender dress that fit really well. She picked pearls as her accessory, so I did her hair and added pearl accents. I made the corsage and boutineer to match.  Zach would be driving in from Notre Dame right after finals. It caused a little stress when Megan discovered that Zach had not gotten his tie or shirt in order, but he found one that day at a local shop. Her cousin Joseph is dating one of Megan's classmates Eva, so the two couples would be going to events together. Zach had some family obligations and would be coming a little late, so that they missed the big group pictures. It was really rainy so we took pictures on the front porch before they headed to sync up with a big group of friends and then off to the Marriott for the Prom. There was no official school afterparty, but one of her friends hosted a big group of them at her house that evening.  Megan was all smiles when she talked about the night.

Megan was invited to the Senior award ceremony and received a reward for Service, being one of the students in her class with the most service hours. She had prom, and senior sunset and then onto graduation.

Change in School for Bridget

Freshman year for Bridget has changed tracks after a derailment. 

When we moved from the middle school platform to high school we weren't 100% sure on which track to take. We weighed so many things on the balance between Public School and Catholic School for Bridget's high school education: Curriculum, academic standards, school environment, student discipline, dyslexia services, supportive staff and teachers, expense, faith, on and on. We discussed, debated, weighed and prayed. 

We waved from the platform as she headed out to Mt de Sales, tentative but hopeful. Her school days were imbued with faith and I was thrilled that she was covered in prayer. Her days were also very frustrating, and uncomfortable. Bridget complained about a number of classes regularly. Math, which used to be her favorite subject, was now frustrating because of testing placement. Philosophy because she disagreed with many of the simplistic representations. Scripture because none of it was new. English because of the workload, and the long term sub who didn't understand her dyslexia. She liked her Sacred Heart class, which is the learning disability program. Her teacher was great and helped advocate for the accommodations she needed, like texts in audio versions. But the biggest problem was the workload. It was reading and writing heavy and it was constant. It is hard for kids in general but with a disability those assignments require so much more effort and energy. Bridget began to express her inability to maintain that level of effort. I exchanged emails and I had a few meetings at school, to see how we could work through it. I felt like I was running along side a train, and Bridget wanted to get off. 

Bridget was experiencing increased levels of anxiety, and depression. She wanted the firehose of assignments to stop. She stopped complaining, but really stopped talking in general. We looked into therapy, and after frustrating weeks finally found a therapist taking new clients in person. Bridget had made some friends and did find them to be a light in her school days.

We entered the new year still struggling but working on getting Bridget some outside help. We were looking into medication as well and weren't having any luck getting in with a provider. The Omicron COVID spike slowed the whole process down. We all acknowledged that Bridget wouldn't return to Mt de Sales next fall if things didn't improve dramatically.

Then at the end of January on Friday afternoon I got a call from Bridget's cell phone toward the end of the school day. It was an administrator, saying that Bridget had been pulled out of class because it came to their attention that she and her friends had a unapproved group chat, in which one of the friends was frustrated at a classmate and another friend offered to stab her. Other group chat members offered support, laced with dark humor. The girls in the group chat were all pulled from class and separated. It was determined that it was not a credible threat but there would be disciplinary action. Bridget not having made the threat or jokingly adding on as some of the others did was one of the last girls to be interviewed. She was secluded for 4 hours with no explanation of what was going on. Bridget was vibrating with agitation and anxiety when I got her from school.  Highschool had gone off the rails.

We talked with the administration over the weekend and they made it clear that Bridget wasn't in any serious trouble. We would come in on Tuesday to meet with the administration to discuss things. I spoke with a couple of the friends' parents and Bridget talked to some of her friends. the administration indicated that the one who made the threat might be expelled and the others would be suspended. Bridget was not doing well, her anxiety was really high and the idea of going back on campus was unimaginable to her. With her therapists recommendation it was determined that Bridget shouldn't join us for the meeting. 

The meeting was difficult. The one administrator talked way too much and spoke as if she knew Bridget, being weirdly gushy with praise, despite having only met her once for the interview. The Principal on the other hand was measured and empathetic, and conveyed a path forward for Bridget at Mt de Sales but by the time it came for the meeting, all of the punishments for the other girls had increased. The parent of the student, who was threatened, had filled a police report, and 5 of Bridget's friends were asked to withdraw or risk expulsion.  We understand why the school took it seriously and if our daughter had been threatened we would have wanted consequences but 5 expulsions seemed excessive to us. It wasn't a credible threat, there was no plan, there was no weapon. The girls were obviously joking in many of their statements.  The Principal, Sr Mary Raymond, said their hands had been tied. There was no attempt for reconciliation, five of Bridget's friends would not be returning, and we weren't sure Bridget would be able to either.

We took a few days to process what had happened, we considered keeping her at Mt de Sales to finish the year but could just never make it seem workable. There were already so many unrelated strikes against the year. This added on top caused a total derailment.  We started the process to put Bridget back on track. I got the enrollment started at Catonsville High School, and on Feb 8 officially withdrew Bridget from MDSA. We made that official and I brought Bridget with me to de Sales to collect her things. We wanted her to have some finality. When we were there the administrator who had questioned her the previous Friday asked us into her office and we had a terribly uncomfortable pointless conversation and I could feel Bridget's stress rise. I got us out of there as soon as possible.

Then that afternoon there was a shooting outside of Catonsville High School. It was a punch in the gut and was every reason why I had wanted Bridget at MDSA. This was not at all how I had envisioned Bridget's freshman experience at de Sales and it left me sad.

It took almost a whole additional week to get Mt de Sales to send over Bridget's records and get her started on her second go at freshman year. Bridget was so eager to get back in class after more than 2 weeks off. Her schedule was a little odd because mid-year transfers require mapping classes so she'll get full credits and she is taking a number of classes with sophomores. She doesn't have any friends in her classes but she gets together everyday at lunch with a big group of friends, some transfers from de Sales and some from middle school.  I am disappointed to say that the workload is embarrassingly light in comparison and she almost never has homework. The contrasts are many but Bridget is doing better, she is more stable and the biggest difference is that she is talking about school again, about classroom stories, about topics being taught, and she is smiling again.

Bridget, May God bless you and protect you on your 2nd half of Freshman Year.

Back to School 2021

 We thought going back to school full-time in-person was a sure thing as Covid-19 infections went down dramatically over the summer, and then Delta arrived. This variant is more easily transmissible and areas with low vaccination rates saw huge upswings in infections and deaths. The school year was again in jeopardy. Nationally mask mandates in school became the hot topic, and we were lucky that most parents in MD saw them as a measure that could save the in-person school year. And the kids were happy to wear them if it meant that they could go into school again.

Bridget started back first. She had 3 days of orientation and then began her freshman year at Mount de Sales. She is enrolled in the Sacred Heart Program for learning disabilities. Class of  2025

Johanna had a new family orientation at St. Mark School and began 3rd Grade. Her teacher is Sr. Teresa Leimbach.

Megan helped out with freshman orientation as a member of Comet Culture  and then began her Senior year at Catonsville High School. She started the year in the dark for Senior Sunrise. Class of 2022.

Rachael started her Junior year of college at UMBC. She withdrew from spring semester because online classes were not a good fit and she was glad to be back in person. She is still living in the townhouse near campus with friends.