Megan turns 18

 Jan 29, 2022

     My sweet baby and fellow middle child has turned eighteen and heads toward a place of competent independence. I find myself more and more comfortable with her handling things, making arrangements, driving herself, making choices. It is amazing to be able to see our wonderful young woman perched to step further into the broader world. But perched as she is it's not time to leave just yet. I feel so blessed to have her near by and speak to her throughout the day.

For her birthday she was greeted with breakfast in bed. That evening the whole family got together for dinner at Outback and presents at home with chocolate cannoli. 

It is a blessing to get to wake her up and wake her up again, and kiss her soft warm cheek each morning. It is a blessing to know her and know that less words are better in the morning. To know that she appreciates that coffee is brewed and was thrilled that the cappuccino mix was finally back on the store shelves. It is a blessing to see her choose outfits and develop her sense of style. It is a blessing to see her collages and wire art. It is a blessing to carefully step through the explosion of her belongings and a week later see her put things back in their place again, even if only for a short time. It is a blessing to see her anticipation of her boyfriend's visit, and see him skip steps as he alights to our front porch in reciprocal anticipation.  It is a blessing to see her plainly state her standards to him and to be given a moment of focus on her birthday. It is a blessing to see her play games with her cousins on Friday nights. It is a blessing to see her scratch Johanna's back during Mass when Johanna is spiraling up. I am savoring these moments, as I know they are part of a season, and that season is starting to turn.

To celebrate the turning of the year, she asked if we could host a party, a tea party, outside in February. Megan had an idea of what she'd like and it was fun to support her plan. She envisioned a  low table with cushions for seating, table linens topped with candles and teacups. She and I went to an estate sale and began gathering items. as we were driving back we decided to stop at a few thrift stores and we completed our collection of gold and cream teacups. A few more stops rounded out the collection of pillows and then Bridget sewed pillow covers for them. We took advantage of after Christmas sales and got some greenery to dress up the tents.

We planned finger sandwiches, pastries, fruit, vegetables and cheeses. but as we planned out the menu the weather reports turned to snow. 

We debated how to do everything and with much discussion we worked out a plan, that included tarps to keep the concrete dry, tent set up, space heaters and testing to avoid blowing a fuse, which we did and made adjustments. The whole family pitched in because we had a tight schedule with some things happening before Mass and so many happening after. Jim, Megan Bridget, Johanna and I got everything set up just in time. It was beautiful.

Megan's friends began to arrive and enjoyed the environment we created. They joked about Megan planning their weddings. The ground had a layer of snow and some flakes were still falling. So despite the space heaters and tents it was still chilly. But we were prepared with sherpa blankets for each guest, and most everyone wrapped up or put one across their laps.

Bridget stayed available and helped throughout the party with refills and moving trays of food in an out as needed. Megan and the guests all settled in to comfortable chatting and eating. They had a great time and didn't need me again until it was time for dessert. Megan chose cheesecake as her dessert and we put a candle in her bite-sized piece. It was fun to sing in a big group and celebrate Megan.

May almighty God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, bless you my child for time and eternity, and may this blessing remain forever with you. Amen

Happy Birthday Megan!

Rachael turns 21

 As our Christmas interactions became classified as close contacts, all of our activities contracted. Rachael's roommate tested positive and the other roommate's girlfriend tested positive. Our original ideas of a family dinner for Rachael's birthday transitioned to an IOU. But I couldn't let her day go by without making sure she knew we love her and wish her the best.  I do that by being helpful. I picked up a few things for her from the grocery store, and then found out what she wanted for dinner. Jim went and picked dinner up and stopped for the things I needed from a different store. 

Our household then piled in the van and we drove over to make a birthday delivery and wish her a very Happy birthday. We stood on her front steps, waved, and smiled under our masks. I was a little sad to not spend more time with her but we felt good to have seen her and sent her our love. She messaged that she'd like to have a proper "drinks and cards" 21st celebration with the family, and that made me smile. She planned a friends call to play Minecraft and speed run a game together. They were all on board, Josh set up a special server and they downloaded the game so they could participate from their homes. 

I am so glad Rae finds joy around her. This fall has brought her to reassess how she wants to be spending her time and although she loves to learn things she has decided not to continue with college for now. She never found a good groove with school, with multiple semesters impacted by the pandemic and stress. Maybe someday she'll go back but not now. She commented that she'd be happy with a simple life and a daily routine. Rachael likes living at her townhouse with friends and will look for a job in the new year. It will have to be something local, while she saves for a car. It took me a little bit to adjust to this idea. I guess I had college as my plan for her, it was the path she was on, but it doesn't mean it was the path for her.  We are wishing her bright things and God's direction in her next steps.

Rachael makes me smile and I am so grateful to be her Mom.

Bridget turns 15

 What a wonderful world! It is a better place to be when Bridget is there to share it.

I am so blessed to be Bridget's mother and we were eager to celebrate Bridget's birthday. I let her lead and it turned into a beautiful celebration. Bridget's birthday was on a Wednesday and she had the week off of school so we knew her Mt de Sales classmates were off but that her public school friends still had school. We were a little leery of rising Covid cases but decided with masks and vaccines we could still move ahead. the plan was for Bridget to go thrifting on Wednesday with friends. I would drive them to the big thrift store and drop them off to thrift for a few hours. A few girls backed out that morning because of ice, but there was a good group. They had so much fun, shopping, laughing, trying things on, and each finding some items that they liked. Bridget found a good sweater, pewter pitcher and heeled black boots. After I picked them up they walked to Cafe d' Roma for lunch. Bridget was all smiles as she retired to her room with her haul.

That evening Jim went and picked up Olive Garden for dinner at Bridget's request, and we plated the meal and had a great family dinner. Emma and Rachael both joined us for the festivities. Bridget opened her gifts of clothes and bedding, and then we headed off to Baskin Robbins for birthday ice cream.

When we got back we decided to watch a movie and Bridget chose Parent Trap. It was a fun family night and it was a delight to reveal in the gift that Bridget is to our lives.

The day after her birthday I dropped her off to hang out with 2 of her public school friends. Again she came home happy and smiling. It was so reassuring to see her enjoy her life. She has had a hard year and her stress levels have increased a lot with the school year. She is not enjoying Mt de Sales and we are talking about whether or not it is a good fit for her. We aren't sure what direction this next year will go but we know that God has plans for her good, and I am covering her in prayer.

 Jeremiah 29:11 "For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope"  NRSV

Bridget has always brought light to my heart and my world and there is light in her future.

Happy 15th Birthday Bridget!

Johanna turns 9

 Nov 02, 2021

Johanna, my Cute Face, is in a good grove and is turning 9 with all of the energy she has been exuding since her birth. Johanna loves books, devours them and goes to find another one. Johanna and I are currently finishing the 3rd Harry Potter book, "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" together. She could read it on her own but reading together is a wonderful activity that we can share. When she reads on her own she tends toward funny lighter books. She loves the Dragon Masters Series and many of the children's mystery series.

Johanna has a habit of asking if she can ask a question or saying she wants to say something before saying something. She does this no matter if she has your active attention or you've been talking with her for 10 minutes already. It is one of those habits that just kind of snuck in and it seems to have stuck.

She is gradually gaining independence and is growing up. As a big kid she is bathing and dressing with less help. She is capable of doing most of the steps but needs prodding to stay on task most days. We discovered that fewer clothing options and a few regular known clothing pieces make the chore more manageable. We are transitioning out of the summer clothes to winter and that takes a little more effort as we establish the new acceptable clothing items. Having a school uniform is a blessing, especially since she likes the socks.

I am so pleased with how well her school year is going. Johanna is making friends and doing well in class. Sr. Teresa appreciates her strengths and personality and that is invaluable. Johanna has to work at spelling and longer writing assignments but the rest of the subjects come pretty easily. She comes home with good stories and not just complaints. 

Johanna likes to play cards and is pretty successful at getting Bridge, Meg, Jim or I to join her in a game of Cameo, or Kings on the Corner. We just got her a game called Tacocat that has become a new favorite.

Johanna is on a soccer team with her schoolmates and it has been wonderful to hear girls call out her name in greeting and hear her call out in return. Recently they had Johanna play goalie and it has been fun to see her hustle and smother those shots. Jo has a good defensive sense and when not in goal she plays her position well. They haven't won a game all season but it is still fun to cheer them on.

Johanna loves Legos and building things. She likes to know how things work. She and my Dad have started a fun trading of riddles and jokes, when he comes for Thursday dinner. He gets his from the newspaper and we got her a joke book so she has lots of material to share.

For her birthday this year, school was having a rescheduled Halloween Party, so that was a special day. Then for dinner Rachael and Emma came over to join us as we went out to dinner together, to Sakura the Japanese hibachi restaurant. Johanna has memories of doing this on the cruise ship when she was 3, and we picked this restaurant 2 years ago for our joint birthday. We had a great time celebrating her and watching her excitement at the heat and flame. We came home for gifts and tucking this sweet girl into bed.

I love her so much.

Emma at 23

My firstborn has been out of the house for years now and still I feel her presence. The sight of a cup of milk causes her little voice to echo in my ears saying "my milk cup".  Items in a row bring me back to her duplo blocks lined up on the toy box asking Jim to make a train noise. The turquoise blanket throws me into her middle school years, and jeans in the hand me down bin hurl me into her high school years. I love the unprompted moments to experience her, despite not being in her regular presence. They are all good memories, even the memories of hard moments, because they are memories with her in them and thinking of Emma brings me joy. I am so glad we are still making memories together.

Emma is now 23. She lives in Baltimore City with two roommates and is working in the Maryland State Parks as a Ranger. It is fun to see her grow in her job and see her pride as she adds skills like tree felling, arc welding, and bobcat driving. In the fall she got to use her art education to run a series of hike and paint programs. This was a a program I really wanted to attend. She didn't want me to join the first one but I did attend one a few weeks in.

Painting En Plein Air was so fun and sparked some dormant art muscles that I hadn't stretched in a long time. I do artistic things regularly but it had been years since I had painted a real picture. It was a thrill to see how much my kids have helped me develop and become who I am. In each phase of being a mother, my girls have prompted me to expand and grow and enjoy and thrive. Giving and loving makes us become more fully who God designed. It is a treat to see how my daughters cooperate with this divine plan for me personally and an even bigger delight to see them step toward God's beautiful design.

I love to see and talk to Emma when we get the chance but I do wish it were more. I also wish she used the names of the people in her life when she tells stories. She shares things but always with a generic "co-worker" or "roommate" or "friend". It makes it hard to feel engaged in her life.  But I also see and hear Emma reflect fondly on her childhood and our relationship. She said that the song "The Best Day" by Taylor Swift always makes her cry and there is something in that reality that I hold onto. We are moving forward together and it is different but each day with you is still the best.

I had the best day with you today.

Jim turns 50 and we go camping

 June 2021

We wanted to celebrate Jim's 50th Birthday and back in Spring we discussed some options that might work with the pandemic in consideration. We decided to go camping and go back to the KOA in Harper's Ferry, WV. It is only an hour away and we knew it was nice. We invited other families to join us and although not everyone could go a lot of them said yes and booked cabins in a cluster with us.

The Arnolds, Arciagas, Shumakers, and Mary Sue & Mak were all joining us to celebrate.

The cicada's were a concern, as the sound was deafening outside, but they has mostly subsided by the time Jim's birthday arrived. It was also the last week of school for Megan and Bridget so we would be heading up after school got out on Friday. Rachael met us at the house and we loaded in, after packing all of the camp gear in the van.

We arrived at KOA and settled into our cabins. A few families beat us there and had set out camp chairs. It was hot and humid. We added our camp chairs to the circle near the center of the cabin cluster. That night we made smores and just relaxed.

The next morning, people filtered out of cabins. I made our family some eggs and sausage and then plans for the day began to take shape. The kids were headed to the river, Eric brought fishing rods, and we had the KOA facilities to check out. Becky and I saw a Park ranger guided tour of the area on the schedule and decided to go. It was a great tour and I learned a lot from the Ranger about the civil war significance of the area and John Brown's raid. I am glad we went. We came back to find a happy group at the campsite, with kids all off at the river. 

Saturday dinner I was making a big group meal. Jim picked gumbo, so I got a big pot and we made use of the single propane burner. All of the Moms pitched in and helped me make the rice, grill the andouille sausage, slice the French and corn bread and set up the serving line. It was fantastic to work together. Dinner went great. Jim opened some gifts, drank some beers, laughed and smiled. We had his favorite dessert: cookies and had a cookie cake. Johanna carried the cookie cake as we sang "Happy Birthday".

It was a fun night. the kid's played ga-ga ball and went to the playground. They had glow bracelets and Johanna directed a glow-stick dance, that the teens happily played along with. Then we eagerly awaited Emma's arrival. She was working the later shift at the Park and was coming after work. She didn't want to miss Jim's 50th Birthday Celebration. She arrived after 11:00PM, still in uniform. It was great to have her join us. The four oldest shared a cabin and enjoyed talking late into the evening.

Sunday morning was a simple breakfast and packing up, with extra time to hang out and visit.

Happy 50th Birthday Jim!

  

Megan turns 17

 I love this girl so much and I wish her so many good things. 

Being sixteen in a pandemic was hard. It was hard to have nothing planned and no activities to go to. It was hard to see teenagers socializing on social media and want that too and also know that because of the pandemic that wasn't the right thing to do. It was hard to do class online and have blank screen after blank screen instead of classmates to commiserate with. It was hard to have events canceled, no SWE competition, or school dances, no volleyball games, or school plays. No camps or leadership opportunities, no service in the community or cousin gatherings. No hanging around in groups in the school halls, no cafeteria moments, no just hanging out with peers. All of those high school things we took for granted were missing. There was a void and some days it was hard to face. It was hard to see Megan struggle this year.

Megan coped by diving into some things and avoiding others. Megan would immerse herself in a project, usually one that had a visual beauty, something tangible, something that she could control, including the occasional hair cut. She did these with a regular sound track of Harry Styles, Niall, Liam, Zayn, and Louie and various singer songwriters from previous decades, Billy Joel, Whitney Houston, Ella Fitzgerald. Johanna loves to listen to Harry Styles with Megan and Megan is amazing at sharing that love with her little sister. She made bracelets based on themes, bucket hats, collages, and line drawings. Megan and Bridget like to share new creations, and an online design app and a little Animal Crossing. Megan redid her wall and built towers of seltzer cans. She spent a fair bit of time on TikTok and scrolling videos she exchanges with Emma. 

Megan reluctantly finished her driver's ed driving sessions, and she is not eager to get on the road but the freedom of a license is tempting and will hopefully call more loudly.

I delighted in having her around. She is fun to watch Downton Abbey with or This is Us or HGTV house shows. I value her opinion and eye for interesting beautiful things. She is fun to talk to and do puzzles with. Megan is fun to dance with in the kitchen and listen to music with, and sip coffee with. Megan has become a coffee drinker and likes hers sweet. She has been great company for me, I know really she wants to be out with people her age but I am so glad she has been home. It is bittersweet as it feels like stolen time: time I shouldn't have with her and that has come at a high cost. I treasure it too.

Her birthday was on a Friday and she had no classes because it was the end of finals week, so she got to sleep in. We brought her yogurt parfait in bed and cappuccino. She chatted on the phone and then went to a vintage shop with a friend. Emma came over and took her to Ellicott City to walk around and visit shops. She had a hard time deciding what she wanted for dinner. And finally landed on Taco Bell with chocolate cannoli for dessert. 

Megan and I went out in search of Shirley Temple supplies and Taco Bell. It turned out our local Taco Bell was closed for renovations so she queued up some tunes and we drove a little farther out. Once home we played cards and ate tacos around the dining room table. Jim and Rachael were working but were able to join us later. Megan opened gifts and was happy to see that the custom Converse hightops she designed turned out great. Rachael gifted her with 17 cans of Iced tea, both appreciated and funny. Megan and Rachael bond over visits to 7-11 and the snacks therein. Emma gifted Megan a bunch of cool sewing patterns. 

Megan set up her blankets on Johanna's top bunk and Johanna went to bed in anticipation of a sleepover. Emma had to head home because she had an early shift but the rest of us gathered in the living room to watch Mama Mia. After the movie Megan climbed onto the top bunk. It was a really fun upbeat day of smiles and simple joys. It was an easy good day.

Happy 17th Birthday Megan. I am so glad you are alive!