Back to School 2022

The new school year was stepped into this year with some reluctance, excitement, and hope, plus a fair helping of anxiety. I have learned to try to get things sorted prior to the start of the year, but also to entrust it all to God's care.

Johanna and I bought her school supplies the first week of August and they were all piled ready to go, with the reusable items from years past. The smell of crayons filtered into the scent of lead shavings as I pre-sharpened her pencils and despite having the supplies all together I know it wouldn't be enough to gently transition Johanna into 4th grade. Johanna does not transition gently. So I braced myself for the intensity. Johanna has had a good but intense first week. She is in the 4th grade at St. Mark, and she got the teacher she had been hoping for: Ms. Middleton. Johanna reread the note Ms. Middleton sent out over and over again, and Johanna was full throttle as we did the "Classroom Visit" day. Johanna sought out familiar faces and greeted all of her classmates by name. 

Monday morning came early and it was still dark out when I first said "Good Morning". We are getting back into the swing of the routine, with a few bumps, a few tears, more hugs and erratic appetites. But we are looking forward to the new year and all of the opportunities to learn and grow.

Bridget is at Catonsville High School in the 10th grade. She is looking forward to a stable, more predictable year, and more art classes. I took her shopping for clothes a few weeks ahead of time and we picked up a curling iron. We also scheduled a haircut, which turned out fantastic and Bridget says it feels great too. She was asked to manage the JV volleyball team, which started up before school. She has a few friends on the team, and when the coach found out she was Megan's sister, they were excited to have Bridget. Bridget laughed and said isn't nepotism great. The team provided a good transition to schedules and interacting with friends. I still have to contact all of her teachers to make sure they have her IEP info, and hopefully start on a good foot. Jim drops her off in the mornings and she rides the school bus home in the afternoons.

Megan and I sat down in July and went through all of the college to-dos. She scheduled her advising meeting and we were not at all impressed with the process. Finally she got one scheduled (virtual), but the advisor didn't show. It was stressful.  I sat down with her and we went through Nursing program pre-requisites. We weren't very adept at the system but we nailed down a solid schedule that included condensed versions of the two of the nursing program pre-reqs. That schedule would allow her to apply to the nursing program in Jan and complete the nursing program in 2 years. She and I discussed it and because she took most of these classes during senior year she felt like she was ready and could handle it. the schedule also gave her off on Friday. She was asked by her high school AP Bio teacher to nanny for her 6 month old, Hazel. The schedule would mean that she could nanny on Fridays.

Then 6 days before the semester started she got a call and an email saying that the condensed classes were canceled due to low enrollment. The well-made plans were junked and she was stressed and demoralized after some discouraging email back and forths with CCBC. She and I sat down and reworked her schedule getting into the few classes that were still open. When it all settled the schedule turned out doable and opened up her Mondays. She is now nannying for Hazel on Mondays and Fridays. The new schedule does mean that the ambitious 2 year RN goal is probably not possible anymore, but we put it in God's hands.

Summer Things- Mid summer catch up

 Our summer has gotten off to a fun start. 

Bridget took a trip to NYC with her Girl Scout Troop, received her Girl Scout Silver Award and celebrated with a party.  Her silver project happened during the pandemic and she sewed tons of face masks for the Cotactin Furnace Historical Society. She and I attended their festival back in Sept 2021 and brought a large supply of historical fabric inspired masks right as their supply was depleted. It was a well-deserved award.

Johanna wrapped up her 3rd grade year with Field Day and was soon in the pool doing summer swim. She has swim meets most Saturdays and is getting faster as the summer goes. Johanna also attended Howard County Girl Scout Day Camp for a week and came home singing all of the camp songs. She also did St Mark Drama Camps for 2 separate weeks. With Harry Potter and Encanto themes.

Rachael is working at Weiss Grocery in the bakery and making visits to Boston to visit Josh. She was so glad to be able to volunteer at HCGSDC on 2 days that she wasn't working.

Megan is working at the farm, bottling olive oil and is returning the favor to the Kureks as the driver to the farm. Joseph and Michael drove her to work previous years and now it is her opportunity to drive Katherine. The slightly rusty, no AC, crank window car is doing the trick.

Emma is working in the McKeldin section of Patapsco State Park this year, and is running art programs. This year after getting small craft certified she has added Canoe and Paint events. Megan joined her on one and had a blast.

We had a good 4th of July in Catonsville at the Shumakers. A good number of people/cousins were out of town and there was more coming and going but still a lot of fun. I missed the handing out of rocket pops while I was picking up Josh and Rachael after work, but I did get to eat one. Josh brought his fire spinning tools and did a demonstration for the party. It was pretty cool. Uncle Erik queued up some fire themed songs as Josh performed. For the first time I walked Johanna down to the high school with the bigger cousins to see the fireworks. It is an amazing show!

Then the next weekend amid near constant rain, we helped the Brinks set up for Crab Soup in their back yard. Jim headed over early on Saturday to help get the soup going, while I did a very rainy swim meet with Johanna. The rain turned more to a drizzle later in the afternoon and we got to enjoy the party. Megan held a good number of new babies, Bridget hung out with the young teens and Johanna got to swim in the pool after I went back home to get her swimsuit. Emma and Rachael were able to come by too.

Dance Recital, Covid, and a hair cut

 June 5, 2022

As the school year headed into it last days and deadlines got closer, our activities also came to a culmination. Bridget's dance practices got longer and the details became fine-tuned. Bridget hair had gotten super long and was down to her butt. She is talking about getting it cut to her chin and we decided for the sake of the dance bun getting it cut to a moderate length before the recital would be the first step. It looks great.

Memorial Day offered a bit of a break and Bridget wound up with a bigger break than expected. She didn't feel good on Friday and tested positive for Covid.  So she isolated in the basement with lots of food deliveries and snacks and drinks and medicine. She skipped the weekend activities.

I let her dance teacher know and told her we would keep her home for the 5 days recommended and then reassess. Ms. Carol emailed everyday to check on Bridget. She was concerned and also trying to avoid a bunch of students getting sick and putting the recital in jeopardy. Bridget had a fever for the first day, and was a bit achy but then felt pretty much herself. Bridge was glad for the memorial holiday because it meant that she would only miss 2 days of school as they prepped for finals. Bridget was able to catch back up on school and get in a good dance practice before recital weekend.

Bridget would still be wearing a mask for the recital per CDC guidelines but she was happy to be feeling good and have the timing work out well for her to be able to participate in the big events. since Bridget is older, she doesn't really need me to hang around for the dress rehearsal for 6 hours but I did come for part of it. It is a great way to watch the dances up close without distractions. 

The theme was "Hand in Hand" and was about different environmental biomes. Bridget's contemporary dance "Seals" for which she wore a blue dress, was gorgeous and she got to showcase her growth as a dancers doing moves she previously wasn't able to do. In the Desert act, Bridget's Jazz class was Scarab Beetles in a short gold sequin outfit. the dance had lots of sass and spunk and Bridget really conveyed the vibe of the dance with crisp movements. The Final act was the Jungle where Bridget did her ballet, Pointe, and ballet corps numbers, as guardians, and vines. she put a lot of effort and so much stretching into her year and achieved a beautiful result. 

On dance day I went with her early for a run through and to get dressed. Jim and the sisters were joining us at start time. Her bun didn't feel right that morning and I redid it a few times and she was stressed about it but we realized that missing a dose of her medicine wasn't helping the pre-recital nerves. Jim arrived with sisters and medicine.  Bridget calmed to a regular elevated state. The recital was fantastic and so much fun. It is great to watch her dance.

Afterward Bridget picked dinner out at our traditional after recital restaurant, Matthew's 1600. Bridget had a headache from the bun, so we stepped to the bathroom and let her hair down. We enjoyed a lovely dinner with easy conversation to celebrate a job well done.

Change in School for Bridget

Freshman year for Bridget has changed tracks after a derailment. 

When we moved from the middle school platform to high school we weren't 100% sure on which track to take. We weighed so many things on the balance between Public School and Catholic School for Bridget's high school education: Curriculum, academic standards, school environment, student discipline, dyslexia services, supportive staff and teachers, expense, faith, on and on. We discussed, debated, weighed and prayed. 

We waved from the platform as she headed out to Mt de Sales, tentative but hopeful. Her school days were imbued with faith and I was thrilled that she was covered in prayer. Her days were also very frustrating, and uncomfortable. Bridget complained about a number of classes regularly. Math, which used to be her favorite subject, was now frustrating because of testing placement. Philosophy because she disagreed with many of the simplistic representations. Scripture because none of it was new. English because of the workload, and the long term sub who didn't understand her dyslexia. She liked her Sacred Heart class, which is the learning disability program. Her teacher was great and helped advocate for the accommodations she needed, like texts in audio versions. But the biggest problem was the workload. It was reading and writing heavy and it was constant. It is hard for kids in general but with a disability those assignments require so much more effort and energy. Bridget began to express her inability to maintain that level of effort. I exchanged emails and I had a few meetings at school, to see how we could work through it. I felt like I was running along side a train, and Bridget wanted to get off. 

Bridget was experiencing increased levels of anxiety, and depression. She wanted the firehose of assignments to stop. She stopped complaining, but really stopped talking in general. We looked into therapy, and after frustrating weeks finally found a therapist taking new clients in person. Bridget had made some friends and did find them to be a light in her school days.

We entered the new year still struggling but working on getting Bridget some outside help. We were looking into medication as well and weren't having any luck getting in with a provider. The Omicron COVID spike slowed the whole process down. We all acknowledged that Bridget wouldn't return to Mt de Sales next fall if things didn't improve dramatically.

Then at the end of January on Friday afternoon I got a call from Bridget's cell phone toward the end of the school day. It was an administrator, saying that Bridget had been pulled out of class because it came to their attention that she and her friends had a unapproved group chat, in which one of the friends was frustrated at a classmate and another friend offered to stab her. Other group chat members offered support, laced with dark humor. The girls in the group chat were all pulled from class and separated. It was determined that it was not a credible threat but there would be disciplinary action. Bridget not having made the threat or jokingly adding on as some of the others did was one of the last girls to be interviewed. She was secluded for 4 hours with no explanation of what was going on. Bridget was vibrating with agitation and anxiety when I got her from school.  Highschool had gone off the rails.

We talked with the administration over the weekend and they made it clear that Bridget wasn't in any serious trouble. We would come in on Tuesday to meet with the administration to discuss things. I spoke with a couple of the friends' parents and Bridget talked to some of her friends. the administration indicated that the one who made the threat might be expelled and the others would be suspended. Bridget was not doing well, her anxiety was really high and the idea of going back on campus was unimaginable to her. With her therapists recommendation it was determined that Bridget shouldn't join us for the meeting. 

The meeting was difficult. The one administrator talked way too much and spoke as if she knew Bridget, being weirdly gushy with praise, despite having only met her once for the interview. The Principal on the other hand was measured and empathetic, and conveyed a path forward for Bridget at Mt de Sales but by the time it came for the meeting, all of the punishments for the other girls had increased. The parent of the student, who was threatened, had filled a police report, and 5 of Bridget's friends were asked to withdraw or risk expulsion.  We understand why the school took it seriously and if our daughter had been threatened we would have wanted consequences but 5 expulsions seemed excessive to us. It wasn't a credible threat, there was no plan, there was no weapon. The girls were obviously joking in many of their statements.  The Principal, Sr Mary Raymond, said their hands had been tied. There was no attempt for reconciliation, five of Bridget's friends would not be returning, and we weren't sure Bridget would be able to either.

We took a few days to process what had happened, we considered keeping her at Mt de Sales to finish the year but could just never make it seem workable. There were already so many unrelated strikes against the year. This added on top caused a total derailment.  We started the process to put Bridget back on track. I got the enrollment started at Catonsville High School, and on Feb 8 officially withdrew Bridget from MDSA. We made that official and I brought Bridget with me to de Sales to collect her things. We wanted her to have some finality. When we were there the administrator who had questioned her the previous Friday asked us into her office and we had a terribly uncomfortable pointless conversation and I could feel Bridget's stress rise. I got us out of there as soon as possible.

Then that afternoon there was a shooting outside of Catonsville High School. It was a punch in the gut and was every reason why I had wanted Bridget at MDSA. This was not at all how I had envisioned Bridget's freshman experience at de Sales and it left me sad.

It took almost a whole additional week to get Mt de Sales to send over Bridget's records and get her started on her second go at freshman year. Bridget was so eager to get back in class after more than 2 weeks off. Her schedule was a little odd because mid-year transfers require mapping classes so she'll get full credits and she is taking a number of classes with sophomores. She doesn't have any friends in her classes but she gets together everyday at lunch with a big group of friends, some transfers from de Sales and some from middle school.  I am disappointed to say that the workload is embarrassingly light in comparison and she almost never has homework. The contrasts are many but Bridget is doing better, she is more stable and the biggest difference is that she is talking about school again, about classroom stories, about topics being taught, and she is smiling again.

Bridget, May God bless you and protect you on your 2nd half of Freshman Year.

Bridget turns 15

 What a wonderful world! It is a better place to be when Bridget is there to share it.

I am so blessed to be Bridget's mother and we were eager to celebrate Bridget's birthday. I let her lead and it turned into a beautiful celebration. Bridget's birthday was on a Wednesday and she had the week off of school so we knew her Mt de Sales classmates were off but that her public school friends still had school. We were a little leery of rising Covid cases but decided with masks and vaccines we could still move ahead. the plan was for Bridget to go thrifting on Wednesday with friends. I would drive them to the big thrift store and drop them off to thrift for a few hours. A few girls backed out that morning because of ice, but there was a good group. They had so much fun, shopping, laughing, trying things on, and each finding some items that they liked. Bridget found a good sweater, pewter pitcher and heeled black boots. After I picked them up they walked to Cafe d' Roma for lunch. Bridget was all smiles as she retired to her room with her haul.

That evening Jim went and picked up Olive Garden for dinner at Bridget's request, and we plated the meal and had a great family dinner. Emma and Rachael both joined us for the festivities. Bridget opened her gifts of clothes and bedding, and then we headed off to Baskin Robbins for birthday ice cream.

When we got back we decided to watch a movie and Bridget chose Parent Trap. It was a fun family night and it was a delight to reveal in the gift that Bridget is to our lives.

The day after her birthday I dropped her off to hang out with 2 of her public school friends. Again she came home happy and smiling. It was so reassuring to see her enjoy her life. She has had a hard year and her stress levels have increased a lot with the school year. She is not enjoying Mt de Sales and we are talking about whether or not it is a good fit for her. We aren't sure what direction this next year will go but we know that God has plans for her good, and I am covering her in prayer.

 Jeremiah 29:11 "For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope"  NRSV

Bridget has always brought light to my heart and my world and there is light in her future.

Happy 15th Birthday Bridget!

Bridget's Confirmation

 Bridget received the Sacrament of Confirmation on October 8, 2021

After the pandemic derailed the normal Confirmation programs in parishes and the Religious ed programs in whole there was a bit of confusion over where Bridget would prepare for her Confirmation. Bridget had decided to finish her Religious Education through 8th grade at St. Mark's since this had been the program she had attended all the way through elementary school, but the pandemic ended that prematurely.  When OLV, our parish, opened registration for Confirmation, we signed Bridget up. Sarah was also in the program and that made it even more enjoyable for Bridget. The Confirmandi were able to meet and do service on site, and the small group of high schoolers shared their faith and instruction.

Bridget asked Aunt Heather, her Godmother, to be her sponsor. They didn't have a lot of sponsor activities but they were able to have a retreat downtown with their sponsors and opportunities for prayer and reflection. Bridget chose St. Kateria as her Confirmation name, in honor of the first Native America Saint. 

Bridget then needed an outfit and we were so surprised to find clothing that matched exactly what she was thinking on our first outing. In fact the dress we bought was the first she tried on. It was a blessing to get to go out with her to shop. 

On Confirmation Day we were a little freaked out when Bridget was not feeling well, but after a visit to the pediatrician an hour before needing to leave for church we were feeling like it was only a cold. She took a covid test too, which came back negative a few days later. 

Bridget and her Godparents, Uncle Erik and Aunt Heather

Bishop Madden would be celebrating the Confirmation and we found out that it was his last scheduled Confirmation. He officially retired back in 2015 but had continued as urban vicar for the Archdiocese. He had confirmed Emma, Rachael, and Megan as well and he has a joyous personable approach that makes for a personal Sacramental experience. He delivered his familiar formatted Confirmation homily and he read a portion of Bridget's letter in which she explained her service projects and the meaning of being a Catholic being tied to loving one another.

I love that it was a small group. It made the laying on of hands and anointing very personal, and as a participant in the celebration it was easier to stay prayerful and connected. The music also helped set the reverent atmosphere

After Mass was over we gathered for pictures. Bishop Madden is always great about being available for pictures but somehow my Dad disappeared and had taken off his alb before we could get him in his vestments.

Afterward there was a nice reception in the hall. By then I was struggling with talking and smiling, because I had gum surgery a few days earlier but I was happy to celebrate with the family. I pray that the Holy Spirit pours abundantly out upon Bridget and Sarah and that they respond generously.

Dance Recital- At the Farm

 Bridget was so grateful to have dance classes this past year. It was her one in-person activity and it was a balm to the isolation. They practiced with windows open and masks on, with reduced class sizes and temp checks at the door. But a small class is a different beast from a recital. The studio owner talked with the families and made the decision to host the recital on her farm.

It was a huge production to not only organize the dancers, music, sound, and staging, but to add stage set up, parking, porta pottys and so on. Since it was out doors and it was the summer of the 17 year cicadas she pushed it back a few weeks until they had passed their peak. And it was all worth it!

We were blessed with blue skies and the heat of a Baltimore June day. Families brought tents and umbrellas and we sat outside and watched the girls dance. Performing the skills they had worked on all year. Bridget was taking en pointe so she had an additional dance plus the corpe ballet. Bridget worked really hard and looked strong and graceful. I was so impressed. I am so grateful for Carol hosting the event and all of the extra she did to make it happen.