Change in School for Bridget

Freshman year for Bridget has changed tracks after a derailment. 

When we moved from the middle school platform to high school we weren't 100% sure on which track to take. We weighed so many things on the balance between Public School and Catholic School for Bridget's high school education: Curriculum, academic standards, school environment, student discipline, dyslexia services, supportive staff and teachers, expense, faith, on and on. We discussed, debated, weighed and prayed. 

We waved from the platform as she headed out to Mt de Sales, tentative but hopeful. Her school days were imbued with faith and I was thrilled that she was covered in prayer. Her days were also very frustrating, and uncomfortable. Bridget complained about a number of classes regularly. Math, which used to be her favorite subject, was now frustrating because of testing placement. Philosophy because she disagreed with many of the simplistic representations. Scripture because none of it was new. English because of the workload, and the long term sub who didn't understand her dyslexia. She liked her Sacred Heart class, which is the learning disability program. Her teacher was great and helped advocate for the accommodations she needed, like texts in audio versions. But the biggest problem was the workload. It was reading and writing heavy and it was constant. It is hard for kids in general but with a disability those assignments require so much more effort and energy. Bridget began to express her inability to maintain that level of effort. I exchanged emails and I had a few meetings at school, to see how we could work through it. I felt like I was running along side a train, and Bridget wanted to get off. 

Bridget was experiencing increased levels of anxiety, and depression. She wanted the firehose of assignments to stop. She stopped complaining, but really stopped talking in general. We looked into therapy, and after frustrating weeks finally found a therapist taking new clients in person. Bridget had made some friends and did find them to be a light in her school days.

We entered the new year still struggling but working on getting Bridget some outside help. We were looking into medication as well and weren't having any luck getting in with a provider. The Omicron COVID spike slowed the whole process down. We all acknowledged that Bridget wouldn't return to Mt de Sales next fall if things didn't improve dramatically.

Then at the end of January on Friday afternoon I got a call from Bridget's cell phone toward the end of the school day. It was an administrator, saying that Bridget had been pulled out of class because it came to their attention that she and her friends had a unapproved group chat, in which one of the friends was frustrated at a classmate and another friend offered to stab her. Other group chat members offered support, laced with dark humor. The girls in the group chat were all pulled from class and separated. It was determined that it was not a credible threat but there would be disciplinary action. Bridget not having made the threat or jokingly adding on as some of the others did was one of the last girls to be interviewed. She was secluded for 4 hours with no explanation of what was going on. Bridget was vibrating with agitation and anxiety when I got her from school.  Highschool had gone off the rails.

We talked with the administration over the weekend and they made it clear that Bridget wasn't in any serious trouble. We would come in on Tuesday to meet with the administration to discuss things. I spoke with a couple of the friends' parents and Bridget talked to some of her friends. the administration indicated that the one who made the threat might be expelled and the others would be suspended. Bridget was not doing well, her anxiety was really high and the idea of going back on campus was unimaginable to her. With her therapists recommendation it was determined that Bridget shouldn't join us for the meeting. 

The meeting was difficult. The one administrator talked way too much and spoke as if she knew Bridget, being weirdly gushy with praise, despite having only met her once for the interview. The Principal on the other hand was measured and empathetic, and conveyed a path forward for Bridget at Mt de Sales but by the time it came for the meeting, all of the punishments for the other girls had increased. The parent of the student, who was threatened, had filled a police report, and 5 of Bridget's friends were asked to withdraw or risk expulsion.  We understand why the school took it seriously and if our daughter had been threatened we would have wanted consequences but 5 expulsions seemed excessive to us. It wasn't a credible threat, there was no plan, there was no weapon. The girls were obviously joking in many of their statements.  The Principal, Sr Mary Raymond, said their hands had been tied. There was no attempt for reconciliation, five of Bridget's friends would not be returning, and we weren't sure Bridget would be able to either.

We took a few days to process what had happened, we considered keeping her at Mt de Sales to finish the year but could just never make it seem workable. There were already so many unrelated strikes against the year. This added on top caused a total derailment.  We started the process to put Bridget back on track. I got the enrollment started at Catonsville High School, and on Feb 8 officially withdrew Bridget from MDSA. We made that official and I brought Bridget with me to de Sales to collect her things. We wanted her to have some finality. When we were there the administrator who had questioned her the previous Friday asked us into her office and we had a terribly uncomfortable pointless conversation and I could feel Bridget's stress rise. I got us out of there as soon as possible.

Then that afternoon there was a shooting outside of Catonsville High School. It was a punch in the gut and was every reason why I had wanted Bridget at MDSA. This was not at all how I had envisioned Bridget's freshman experience at de Sales and it left me sad.

It took almost a whole additional week to get Mt de Sales to send over Bridget's records and get her started on her second go at freshman year. Bridget was so eager to get back in class after more than 2 weeks off. Her schedule was a little odd because mid-year transfers require mapping classes so she'll get full credits and she is taking a number of classes with sophomores. She doesn't have any friends in her classes but she gets together everyday at lunch with a big group of friends, some transfers from de Sales and some from middle school.  I am disappointed to say that the workload is embarrassingly light in comparison and she almost never has homework. The contrasts are many but Bridget is doing better, she is more stable and the biggest difference is that she is talking about school again, about classroom stories, about topics being taught, and she is smiling again.

Bridget, May God bless you and protect you on your 2nd half of Freshman Year.