The things we do for our kids

There are times in life when as parents you make those decisions that don't really make a lot of sense but because love doesn't always make sense you do it anyway. We were faced with 2 competing but worthwhile experiences that would have required Emma to bi-locate so instead we as parents made up the difference. Emma had been invited to vacation with her best friend and family in Asheville, NC for the National Go Conference. Go is an ancient strategy game. Emma also found out that the last day of vacation was also the first day of High School Field Hockey Try-outs. We contacted the field hockey coaches and asked if Em could start on Monday instead of Saturday and we got an unequivocal No. We were going to have her pick one or the other but the choice was hard.

Instead of making Emma pick and miss out on one of the things, we made the sacrifice instead. Jim took off 2 days of work, using 2 vacations days, and drove down to NC on Thursday. He spent the evening with the Arnolds at the conference and drove Emma the 9 hours home on Friday. Friday as they were driving home I stood in line at the high school for 1 1/2 hours to do the required sports check-in and paperwork. Emma got to spend a great 5 days on vacation and she was back in time for the Try-outs on Saturday.

Emma had been working over the summer to get in shape for these try-outs by going to a summer boot camp 3 evenings a week during July. She did toning and strength exercises and of course running. Jim made a deal with her that she would have to run a mile in 8 1/2 minutes if he was going to take the time off and make the drive down. Jim took her to the track the day before Emma was to leave for vacation and timed her. The trip was on.

Try-outs started Saturday afternoon and Emma was beat afterward. She said she did pretty well. Monday morning at 6:00 she was on the field again. She said she ran in the middle of the pack and had a decent run time, but that night she expressed concern that she might not make the cuts. Parents weren't allowed to watch try-outs so we could only encourage her to give it her best. Tuesday morning at 6:00 they were out there again. I went to pick her up and when try-outs ran over by an hour we discovered it was because they were doing cuts.

The coaches had all of the girls sit in a group and they called each girl up separately and quietly let them know that they did or didn't make the team.   Em said that they couldn't hear what was being said but it was clear to everyone by the nodding or shaking of heads and the girl's reaction what the verdict was. The coaches said they would give feedback but when Emma was cut she said didn't ask for feedback because it was too awkward and just wanted to sit down. I greeted Em as she came up the hill and that strong face started to show emotion. We walked to the van and she told me she didn't make the team. We talked for a little while, she shed a few tears, and I held her. She was so disappointed and she really didn't understand why some girls made it, who had no experience, but she didn't. It was a down few days for her and we gave her some space, but she was ready to move on to other things. She played a lot of piano and we talked about her freshman schedule. She hasn't dwelt on the disappointment. Jim and I also had to deal with our disappointment. Jim had sacrificed for Emma to have the opportunity, we had planned for field hockey to be part of our fall and part of Emma's start to high school. We needed to move on as well. I am glad that she got to experience both of these adventures and I know she will grow from them. I am glad we are able and willing to cover our kids from some of the hard decisions in life for now, and let them have the growth opportunities.