We are having a BABY!

I almost titled this "we are having another baby", but we are not having another baby, we are having THIS baby, this little life, who is unique, who is called, who has a special purpose. When I sit and think about how this works and how I get to be the steward of this little life, it is kind of overwhelming. Most of the time though, I am not sitting and thinking about that part of pregnancy. I am just hoping for a nap or wishing my stomach would get out of my throat, or wishing the to-do list would do itself. Happily I am not feeling overwhelmed, exhausted yes but not overwhelmed. I guess 14 years of motherhood have shown me that God does offer enough grace to get me through and maybe pregnancy is harder at 38 but this age also comes with experience and much more trust in God.

We found out I was pregnant after I got an awful virus in March complete with 4 days of fever, aches, chills and vomiting. I was floored. I spent a whole day in bed and the other days dragging myself around getting the minimal of work and household tasks completed. Jim and the girls fended for themselves and did quite well. The virus went away but I remained nauseous and exhausted. It took a few extra days to shift from virus thinking to pregnancy thinking but soon it was clear to me. Jim and I weren't trying to conceive but we've always been open to life. Jim was unprepared and a little shocked when I told him, but he took my hand and said a prayer for our baby, for our family and for all the changes to come. I scheduled a doctors appointment and Jim joined me to see our little baby and hear the heart beat. With everything looking good we were ready to share the news with our girls.

We all gathered around for lunch but Bridget was straggling, so Jim told her she was going to need to be a good example as a big sister. Megan chimed in clarifying Bridge wouldn't be a big sister until we had a baby. I then told them all that we do have a baby. All of their faces lit up. Questions and comments and hopes all spilled out at once. Emma got a kick out of figuring out how old she'd be when certain milestones were hit. The most daunting she came up with- When our baby graduates from high school Emma will be in her 30s.

Having our amazing girls has made my exhaustion bearable. They are self sufficient in so many ways. They can all make their own breakfast and most importantly, quietly keep themselves entertained while I become one with the couch or lay down in bed. It is easier to be pregnant with big kids than with toddlers and for that I am grateful.

We decided to tell the rest of the family on Easter, so we all had a week to keep the news quiet. Megan has prayed for years for a baby brother and that week was really hard for her. She kept rubbing my belly while un-knowing people were around. We were all so glad to be able to talk freely when Easter came. On Easter we called Jim's parents and shared our news and then we went to my parent's for dinner. After the egg hunt and grace for dinner we let them know about our baby. It is such a blessing to have a family that values every life and can share our joy.

 The joy of Easter and the promise of the Resurrection has felt a little keener this year as we take part in a new creation. We celebrate this new little life and trust in God's Divine Mercy to accompany us in this journey.